Light Our Hearts

Reaching Rogers

2012-01-20T11:09:00.012-06:00

Cities have this magical way of making you feel very very small and insignificant. The throngs of people, the skyscrapers and tall apartment buildings, the busy streets- many factors add up to the feeling that you are a tiny grain of sand on a Lake Michigan beach.

I must admit that, being a stay at home mom now, the feelings of insignificance have multiplied. If I leave the house, I head to the park or the grocery store. I always try to strike up conversations with people. I try to look for ways to encourage others through the truths of God's Word. But I have to admit that a scope of influence in my neighborhood is lacking.

This is one reason why I love my church. My husband and I found a great fellowship in New Life Community Church. I love our church's diversity. I love that, monthly, they are baptizing new believers and 'adding to our numbers' not via church-hoppers, but by people coming to a saving faith. I love that they don't just leave a person to flounder in their new-found faith, but have mentors/disciplers, and an emphasis on small groups to help people get plugged into smaller communities.

My husband and I live in a great neighborhood on the Northwest side of the city. We live about 6 blocks from the current location where we attend church. However, we have always said that 'if and when New Life Community Church begins a Rogers Park location, we would be a part of that team.' It looked like it was going to happen about a year and a half ago. The timing wasn't great, I had just given birth to our son Daniel. But we signed up and prepared to GO in obedience. You can read more of the back story here at my Pastor's blog.

God had other plans, big beautiful plans and it was great to be a part of it.

Things were getting comfortable. We love living so close to church. I serve in the children's ministry on occasion, and on the worship team, and my husband recently got a new health ministry off the ground. Then our Pastor announced that it was time. A team is now forming to begin a church in Rogers Park. The timing, for me, is still not ideal. But I've come to realize that, if I am to be an open/willing vessel, it's God's timing, not my own, that matters! Here's a video I found on YouTube that will give you an idea of what we're walking in to:

And here's if you'd like to learn some more specific details on the neighborhood:

http://wikitravel.org/en/Chicago/Rogers_Park

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rogers_Park,_Chicago

We covet your prayers! This neighborhood has the potential to swallow, chew up, and spit out a young church. It's a good thing we're coming at this with the Lord's leading, and the knowledge that He's already at the end having paved the way for us. We're talking about one of the most diverse neighborhoods in the nation. We sang and prayed 'ask and I'll give the nations to you, O Lord, that's the cry of my heart.'

He answered.

"Look at the nations and watch-

and be utterly amazed.

For I am going to do something in your days

that you would not believe,

even if you were told."

-Habakkuk 1:5

Christmas Miracles

2011-12-11T15:25:00.007-06:00

My friends have been on a long journey.

I first met Sara while employed at Moody Bible Institute while her husband was in school here in Chicago. She worked for Guest Services, and her bright smiling face greeted me every morning as I came into work. She's the real deal. Her joy for the Lord permeates her life. She also taught me to make a mean chicken tortilla soup, and some really easy marinated salmon. We enjoy those two recipes several times a month and I always think of her. Too bad this isn't a food blog!

Please join with me in prayer as they have a court date in Africa this Wednesday the 14th. Pray with me that they can bring their little girl home for Christmas.

I have a BIG heart for adoption. I hope to add to our family through adoption one day, and pray often that God will move in my husbands heart to feel the same. It is certainly a decision I believe our whole family would have to be on board with (immediate family that is.) Until that door opens, I enjoy adoption blogs, (living my passion out vicariously through these other great moms) especially the Ribbens, the Whipples, and Ashley at Under the Sycamore.

Next year, when the littlest are a little more aware of what's going on, I hope to sponsor a child through Compassion International.

This year we picked out a gift for the Angel Tree project at our church. Angel Tree gives gifts to children who are without a parent during the holidays, not orphans necessarily, but children who's parents are imprisoned. I must admit that before I found out about this organization, I gave little thought to these children of criminals, also victims of crime. I was able to choose the recipient of our gift, and zeroed in on a little girl close to Abby's age that was requesting something my daughter also loves (a Disney Princess Barbie.) She and I had a good talk about giving with an open heart. I was proud of Abby handing over the gift to the lady collecting them at church without a moment of hesitation.

I love all the opportunities we have to encourage those around us during the Christmas season!

...'You can't beat home sweet home."

2011-12-07T22:41:00.011-06:00

My family and I are gearing up for the Christmas season. This is the first year in awhile that we're not going to make the trip to Ohio for Christmas. We've worked it out to alternate years and let that person choose. It's Joseph's year, and he chose to stay home in Chicago. We're near his family and will celebrate with them, then head to Ohio for NYE.

I must admit that, while it is bittersweet, I am growing in excitement about waking up in my own home on Christmas morning. There's something to be said for carving out your own (immediate) family traditions. A lot of the responsibility will certainly fall on these rather flawed shoulders, but I'm trying to do a bit at a time and get the kids excited about celebrating our Savior's birth!

So far, we put up a VERY special Nativity scene- this is the one we've had in our family since I was a little girl!

we've trimmed the tree

Hung the stockings by the (faux) fireplace with care- I was going to make some this year out of old sweaters, then found these at the thrift store for $1 each!

& ~~ate a ton of candy~~ decorated a gingerbread house.

(This is the year a half-eaten peppermint made it on the house!)

A dear friend gave me a neat ornament decorating kit with little wooden reindeer/snowmen/etc., and GLITTER GLUE! Believe it or not, Daniel is a budding artist, and made that tree ornament all on his own. The kid will sit still for hours if crayons or markers are involved!

And lastly we watched a couple Christmas specials. I've ordered one gift for them online so far...I'm always a slacker in that department. I did get them some new toothbrushes for their stocking and ended up using them when Danny dropped his old one in the toilet the other night.

Is it odd that all my 3 year old daughter keeps asking for is a new dress? What 3 year old doesn't want toys?! What are you getting your kids for Christmas this year? What are some of your favorite traditions?

Snow white and her dwarves...

2011-12-07T22:24:00.005-06:00

A long overdue post about our Halloween. Abby wanted to wear her Snow White costume from grandpa. I decided to dress Danny up like a dwarf. I didn't know which one exactly, but I made him a cool belt, found a big brown sweater and some orange pants in big sister's closet...and, well, he ended up being more than one dwarf throughout the night!

HAPPY...

BASHFUL, then GRUMPY.

And...HUNGRY!

We didn't do much- my husband is not 100% on board with the whole going to strangers homes and getting candy routine. We hit up a couple of church member's homes, then headed to grandma's house. It was a fun night, worthy at least of a blog post!

A Different Kind of Autumn

2011-11-22T13:59:00.002-06:00

The other day, we were out for a slow afternoon drive in my father's golf cart, and Abby leaned over and said "momma, that tree looks sad! all the trees look sad!" I gave her a toddlerized summary of the change of seasons, and how, by Spring, the tree will look happy again.

I, like my daughter, made a somewhat painful observation recently that my mother, who died October 1995, has (as of this year) been gone from my life longer than she was in it. Don't get me wrong, she's in my life every day- her music, her photos, her 'motherly advice' that she imparted to me the 15 years we had together...but I can't help but think how different my life would be if she had been shaping/molding/teaching me these last 15 years.

I know and am often reminded that God is not finished with me, and He ultimately is the Potter of this this mostly uncooperative lump of clay. And for all the times when I'm not agood daughter (or daughter-in-law), mother, sister (or sister-in-law, ahem, Sonny), or wife, I can be thankful for another day- another season to grow and learn and change.

And I also can't help but think 'what if?' What if I, like my own mom, can't see these kids through to the next chapter of their lives? What if God takes me home before I see them off to college, or meet my grandbabies? James 4:14 says our lives are like a vapor- 2 Corinthians 4 reminds us to fix our eyes on what is unseen and eternal. I need to daily model for my children what dependence on God ALONE looks like. I'm really failing at this.

But most of all, today I want to choose life ABUNDANT. A different kind of Autumn. Not dreading the Winter ahead, but looking forward to making the most of each day- to taking the time to sit and teach my children the biblical truths from which they can build their lives. Not counting the days till Spring, but making EACH DAY count for His glory and joy.

Tomorrow, when I hear the sound of the leaves crunching under my toes as I race from the post office to preschool, to the bank and the grocery store, and I am tempted to dread errands with three little ones, I will stop. I will give thanks. I will empty of 'self' and ask God to fill me with His love and grace and peace. Because, as cliche as it sounds, each day really is a gift.

Why I'm an Aldi Convert...

2011-10-28T11:21:00.006-05:00

Growing up in small-town America, the Aldi grocery store was a place to be avoided. They didn't have the name brands I was used to seeing, and my family never shopped there. Even while living in Charleston, WV, and living paycheck to paycheck as a single gal, I don't think I ever stepped foot in our local Aldi.

Fast-forward to October 2011, three kids, one income, expensive city living and, voila! I'm officially an Aldi convert!

I've never cut coupons- I will never be that organized. My intentions are all good, but when it comes down to it, I keep them, they expire, they get thrown away. The beauty of Aldi is that I don't HAVE to clip coupons. The savings are automatic.

The quality of the Aldi stores around here are incredible. The newer ones have (BONUS!) double seater carts. So, our monthly shopping includes 2 or 3 trips to Aldi, and 1 trip to the large international food grocery store- primarily for our Indian recipe ingredients. Some of my favorite Aldi buys include: (click on item to link to store page)

Baker's Mix

Three Cheese Marinara Sauce

Chicken Broth

String Cheese (for Danny)

Fresh Salsa

Hummous

Some other favorites:

Whipped Cream Cheese (I can't taste the difference)

Breakfast Blend Coffee (the one in the package that looks like it could be a DD bag)

Flavored Creamer

We get really lucky on seasonal produce, enjoy all our meat/fish, dairy & bread products (the bagged mini whole wheat bagels are a favorite) and occasionally get really happy when we find things like 100% juice pouches or tyson chicken appetizers.

The purpose of this post is just to dispel the myth that you can't buy 90% of your groceries at Aldi- while you can't expect the Oreo-looking cookies to taste just like the real deal, or to turn the corner and grab a jar of JIF peanut butter, the savings outweigh the drawbacks for sure.

This is a HELPFUL GUIDE for first-time Aldi shoppers:

And if you're feeling particularly hard-core, I found this great Fall/Winter menu planner, if you don't have picky eaters!

I feel great, knowing I am saving my family money and making a smarter, yet somewhat effortless (unless you count the self-grocery bagging at the end of your trip) shopping choice. I'm also much more inclined to bring my own reusable bags so I don't have to pay a nickel for them!

Days like today.

2011-10-03T15:15:00.001-05:00

I confess. Some days I wake up and decide I don't want to be a mom of three very needy children. I feel easily annoyed, easily angered, my patience wears thin. I don't want to change diapers and dump out potties. I don't want to make toddler friendly meals or change clothes or pick up toys. I don't want to watch PBS kids.

Most importantly, I want to tune out. I don't want to listen to squeals and screams, to "MINE!" or "NO!". I don't want to hear feet running or listen to excuses for not obeying, or entertain protests from the daily routine.

Today is one of those days. And right now I have everyone in their beds, restless, fighting nap time, and I have retreated to my room to write this post, to have a little bit of quiet/solitude. And it usually does the trick. I know that my Lord is just as real in the chaos, but here in these minutes of peace He meets me. He reminds me that these children, this way, this life, it was all planned out before the beginning. He has entrusted these little lives to my earthly keeping. He has prepared me for this high calling of motherhood. He has me right where I am supposed to be.

And I may not be all that good at it, but at the end of the day, when bellies are full and bath tubs are drained, when nails are clipped and hair is combed, and everyone is tucked in with prayer songs sung ( yes we sing our bedtime prayer) I can whisper in each of their ears that I am sorry. That I will be a better mommy tomorrow than I was today.

Forgive me, merciful God, for days like today.

I was run-ning

2011-09-11T20:30:00.004-05:00

I've never been physically active in my life. I have always secretly considered taking up jogging/running.

Some friends here in Chicago decided to start up a couch-to-5k program together. I signed up. We started off in theory as a group of 6. The first day 4 people showed up, the second day 2 people- counting me- (we're meeting at 5am, and everyone had legitimate reasons.) Then, yesterday I was planning to meet friends and run at 8am, but my husband picked up an extra work shift. Saturday evening we ended up at my in-law's, and this morning (Sunday) it was hard enough to wake up and get everyone out the door for church! I figured I would run in the afternoon, but my husband again had to go to my in-laws (he's doing some work there) and I had the two littlest with me (he took Abby along.)

Welp, we had our Sunday nap ritual, and the three of us woke up at dusk. I called my husband to see how much longer he'd be gone, and he told me another couple hours.

The program is dependent upon running 3 days a week.

I did not want to fall behind, for fear that I would fall off the wagon completely.

So, I did what every normal person would do- I got us all ready, got out the stroller (thankfully I have one I can jog behind) and hit the pavement.

I jogged up to the playground, and let Danny run around and climb for a bit- then I picked him up some nuggets and apples from McDonalds (I only got a water!) and we made the trek home- with jogging/walking intervals again.

At some point on the way home, Daniel looked up and me with a huge grin. I think he enjoyed riding at my top speed. I realized a couple things:

(1) I feel a lot more confident running while pushing a stroller- at least everyone can see my reason for being overweight!
(2) I am not running for myself. I wanted to carve out some 'me-time' by jogging at five am, but let's face it, I'm not running for me.

I'm running for them.

And it's a good thing- because I'm not motivated enough to do it for me!

My momma died @ age 40, that's just about 8 years ahead of where I am. We were NOT a healthy family. I'm so thankful I married a man that cares about my health/well-being. My pastor often preaches about building our families with 'new bricks.' We can take the 'good bricks' from our up-bringing, and believe me there are many. But we must toss out the bad bricks and replace them with new, good bricks to have a strong foundation. I am tossing out over-eating, inactivity, and disregard for my health. Bye-bye bad bricks.

...More to come on this topic- stay tuned!

Happy Anniversary, Joseph!

2011-09-02T12:03:00.001-05:00

Celebrating Four Years!

Weight of Words

2011-08-31T21:28:00.005-05:00

Tonight, my dear friend was here at our place, spoon feeding her 9 month old from a jar. Abby got upset when I offered her some of OUR yogurt to feed her son. I told her "Abby, we share our food, just like Krista would share her food if you were at her house!" Abby replied: I don't WANT Krista's food. It's 'chee-chee!' (Hindi for dirty.) I promptly confronted her rudeness and told her to apologize to Krista for calling her food dirty. Abby refused. I had to give her a spanking (which I rarely have to do) and she still didn't say she was sorry, so she had to sit in time out. Krista had to get going, and eventually Abby relented and apologized over the phone. Later on I had a chat with Abby before bedtime:

Me: Abby, I want you to know that I am really happy you apologized to Krista and said sorry. God is happy too.
Abby: Okay momma.
Me: Abby, can I ask you why you said her food was chee chee?
Abby: I don't know.
Me: Our words are really important and they can hurt people.
You know how you always like to look at your 1st birthday party pictures?
Abby: yeah
Me: You know that big elmo cake in the pictures?
Abby: yes momma
Me: Do you know who MADE that cool cake?
Abby: you mamma?
Me: Noo
Abby: Auntie Krista?
Me: YES!
Abby: She made me that chee chee cake?
Me: ABBY! That cake was NOT chee chee!
Abby: Yes momma, Abby's face was all messy-up from the chee chee cake!
Like baby Andrew's face from auntie Krista's chee chee food!

Poor Abby. We had a little chat then about how the FOOD isn't chee chee, its the way babies EAT the food that makes it chee chee. So glad that this all came out now, after I drove her to hysterics, and spanked her bare buttocks. I guess we are both learning the weight of our words (and actions.)

TRIED AND TRUE

2011-08-03T00:52:00.002-05:00

Just a quick list of things that, over the course of the last 3 years, I have come to appreciate as good products for the ease of mothering. Right click to open in a new window.

I could elaborate on each product. Let's just say I've 'tried them all' and these are my favorites. Sometimes I forget how much I like them- for instance it took me 3 months to finally break down and buy the Aveeno baby soap that immediately cleared up my newborn's dry skin and cradle cap...but they're all great things. I have a number of friends pregnant for the first time, I made this list for them!

Differently the Same

2011-07-06T00:16:00.004-05:00

I watch him reach for his daddy's hand

run through the grassy field

chase his sister

and laugh

and I shun all the times I've wished for them older

somewhere in the middle of Indiana

where my old and new lives cross paths

I pray to God that moments like these could last

I hear baby sister cry inconsolably

so ready to be home

and I can't switch it off or leave it alone

so I turn away from this perfect picture day

shifting gears once again

toss the camera aside

I search for that silence I can get lost in

and trade it

not for the cries and tears

but for milk and a gentle song

knowing all along

that her hunger is real

but her longing is so much more than this

or anything I can give

we pack up with kicking and screaming

push toddlers into car seat molds

and hope

that by the next mile marker

the journey will seem more worthwhile

we hit our magic sound-proof glass button

and smile

and I see You in every little detail

I know You are the Author of these days

come what may You will bring us home

much differently the same

EMBRACE THE CAMERA

2011-06-23T11:23:00.007-05:00

Well, I've decided it's time to come out of hiding and embrace the camera with my kiddos. I've been inspired by THE ANDERSON CREW to do so. I don't want to get to the end of my life and have no photos of us together. I wouldn't mind them getting to be about five years old and thinking 'wow, mom was fat, she's so nice and skinny and in shape now!' But for now, here's Daniel and I in all our post-naptime glory!

Because You're Reading...

2011-06-21T00:29:00.008-05:00

I shall keep writing! Well, the truth is I will write regardless, I've always loved to journal. I just have to edit my thoughts a little more on here, but that's not a bad thing. Can't count the number of times I wanted to pull my sister's hair out for reading my diary!

Today, Abby was fascinated with the idea of babies in bellies. She has a baby in her belly. So does Daniel. Also Joseph. Even scarier, ME! (not true not true) We're not ready to go into detail about the subject with her, so we just told her to stop saying it. It's much easier to deal with the blank stares.

Daniel decided this afternoon that he was going to be a cuddle-bug. He's struggling just a bit with baby sister getting more of the lovies. This usually manifests itself with SCREAMS for attention. I try to carve out time in my day to wrestle/tickle/snuggle with my favorite son. Poor little guy!

A potty update: Now when we leave the house, I make sure Abby has a pull-up on. My thoughts are, if we are somewhere she can easily go, we'll go. If not, she's prepared. Well, today we were at a friend's house. Her son is potty training as well, and had an IDENTICAL potty to ours. She still wouldn't go. I am doomed.

With Olivia, there's just not much to report. She eats, she sleeps, she poops, she smiles, gurgles, and wails. Repeat repeat. Occasionally she might get a bath, or a certain someone's tiny finger gets dangerously close to poking her eye out, but other than that it's been pretty uneventful around here.

Do you ever get to criticizing and over-analyzing and getting welled up in selfishness? Yeah, that's really a dead-end street. Well, this evening I was thankful for a friend that turned my thoughts the other direction with a simple question:

"So, what would you do differently if it were up to you?"

(Hmm. I don't know. I just wanted to complain about it, I don't want to look for a solution or anything!)

I know it's random but I leave you with that thought. The next time you've got some whiner on your hands like me, it's a good way to curb the negativity and get things back on track. As for that little thing I was griping about- hopefully I'll deal with it in another post soon! And to that friend that helped point me in the right direction... you're a gem- thanks for caring.

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)

Some lessons from the last couple days.

2011-06-14T16:43:00.006-05:00

LESSON #1: THE WORDS "POTTY TRAINED" DO NOT MEAN WHAT YOU THINK THEY MEAN.

One day, I woke up and decided to no longer put Abby in diapers. God just put on my heart that she was ready. I had a newborn baby, a 16 month old that loved to splash around in the toilet, and other things working against me, but I just decided to go cold-turkey. Within 2 days she was 'potty trained.' This, to us, meant that she was able to do her business in a small plastic potty next to the bathtub. She even would get out of bed in the morning and during nap times to run to the potty at a moment's notice. Wow. I was impressed.

Then we ventured outside. The first day she did some errand runs with me and had no issue. The second day we did a quick shopping trip. The third day we went to our church's Friday night prayer service. I decided that, rather than have her sit down on the scary public toilet potty, I would bring a little red potty I picked up at Ikea and sit it in the back of our SUV. Towards the end of the service, Abby said she had to go. The whole family ran outside (it was almost time to leave anyways.) It was dark, and raining, and Abby had a panic attack when we tried to get her to pee in the back of the car. I analyzed the situation- couldn't really blame her. I apologized, saying "Abby, sorry, you're the first kid. Daddy and I don't really know what we're doing." She held it till we got home.

Fast-forward a few days (just last night). We decide after dinner to make a last minute trip to the playground and surprise the kids with some ice cream. We rushed around getting shoes, baby carrier, stroller, etc. I look at my husband and say "we don't really need the diaper bag, do we?" Nah. So we go to the park, we swing and slide and hoot and holler, and then our poor innocent little girl looks up at us wide-eyed and says "PEE-PEE COMING!" Ummm...okay! We look around, look at eachother, try to figure out what public place to try and run into or what bush to hide behind (the park is a mile from home). Just then I look down and say "Uh, I don't think it matters now." Then, the bad mommy with no change of clothes puts her half naked daughter in the stroller and covers her up with her daddy's fleece vest.

Today I took the kids out on my own and Abby wore a pull-up diaper. She peed in it once and did not tell me pee was coming. She insisted on putting her underwear back on as soon as we got home.

I do NOT consider my daughter 'potty trained.' Parents who claim their very young children are potty trained, I've decided, must have very broad definitions of the word. You're child is still in a crib and wear's diapers 12 out of the 24 hours in a day? Right. Sure. Your child only remembers to go in the potty if they're naked from the waist down? Hmm, yeah. If you haven't left the house in the last 3 months for fear of what your 'potty trained' child will do out in public, they are NOT REALLY POTTY TRAINED!

Okay. Now that I have that off my chest...

LESSON #2: EXPOSE YOUR KIDS TO A VARIETY OF FOODS AT A YOUNG AGE.

This really manifested itself today. I was running around town with all three kids over the lunch hour. I decided to hit up the drive thru. 'Old MacDonald's' as Abby affectionately calls it, was jam packed with cars, so I drove down the road to BK. My loving daughter threw a fit because the fries 'weren't yummy' and my 16 month old son threw his chicken nugget on the floor mat. Couldn't help but think that I should've given them more variety at a younger age. You know, Wendy's, McDonalds, BK, Taco Bell...don't limit your kids. (Please read the humor/sarcasm in this one.)

LESSON #3 DON'T HAVE DOORS THAT ONLY LOCK FROM THE INSIDE.

Danny had a field day in the bathroom. We'll just leave it at that. Thankfully he unlocked the door and came out on his own, after about 20 minutes. He loved every second of it.

LESSON #4 FIX WHAT'S NOT WORKING

I've been forced to take serious inventory of my days and fix what isn't working. Sleep schedules, furniture arrangements, baby proofing, etc. Abby couldn't reach the faucet in the bathroom sink to wash her hands after using the potty. She was using this as an excuse to not wash her hands at all (STINKY)! So, she washes them in the bathtub now because she can reach that faucet.

Daniel was enjoying playing with one particular electrical outlet- it's completely blockaded now.

I was stressing over making hot breakfasts that would end up getting picked over or thrown on the floor. Today, I served up string cheese, grapes, and toast. We had a picnic in the living room. Everyone ate, no one was upset or frazzled- just fix what's not working!

LESSON #5: GET OVER FEAR OF BEING 'THAT MOM'

There's going to be a lot more hard days to come. I've made a firm decision to keep laughing. Today I realized that I was out of formula for Olivia. We NEEDED to go to the store. And SOON. (I really did think there was another can in the pantry.) So, off we went. Abby did not have her hair in pigtails- it was all stringy and hanging in her face, and she even dressed herself- I won't elaborate on that. Daniel had a juice stain on his onesie. Olivia was still in her pajamas (little boy jammies at that!) I looked completely disheveled. But off we went- all four of us. I'm quite certain people were looking at me like I was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but we did it, and I even had a good time. Good thing I was never one to care TOO much for what people might think.

Finding Beauty.

2011-06-06T23:18:00.006-05:00

From my desk chair, I can see 3 loads of unfolded laundry (including fitted sheets, only 2 of them, but enough to make me think it'll take hours.) I see some dead flowers in a vase on the dining table (one day they'll walk to the trash can.) I hear a sniffling newborn, the whines of a toddler- both sick with spring fevers/head colds. I see my husband finding a bit of time at the end of his night to study for a big exam, (after supervising dinner, and a wrestling match, and baths, and tucking the kids into bed.) And I can't remember when things ever felt so Overw*#$&%#@ , oh yeah, I promised myself not to use that big "O" word.

Then I read THIS.

And the tears well up.

And I thank God for that 30 minute nap I had this afternoon.

For the large trees outside my city apartment window that sway and billow in the Windy City breeze.

For the genuine and huge wide-eyed smiles from my 6 week old, & for the quiet moments with her.

For the peek-a-boos my son finds at every opportunity, the way he runs up to me and hugs my legs, or buries his face in my lap.

For the friend, and the other friend, and then the other two friends that reached out to me just today.

For the daughter that said "How was your day, mom?" when she could tell I was a little on edge; and then "Can we talk to Jesus some more?" as I tucked her into bed.

Thanks for the beauty of this day, Father God.

Prayers for Healing

2011-06-05T23:44:00.009-05:00

I have very little interaction with the outside world besides the internet these days. Blogspot.com, to me, is what feet are to the Little Mermaid (yes I'm the mother of an almost 3-year-old girl). I have been hesitant to share about some of the events of the last six weeks, but I am in a valley and need prayer.

For the last several months of my pregnancy I heard from the most well-intentioned people that I was "going to have my hands full." I love being a mom, it's the best job I could ever hope for, even if I don't always feel qualified. I dismissed their comments and did my best to keep my chin up, knowing that things would be different with 3. Then, my hands did get full, but not in any way I had imagined they would. I could handle 3 in diapers, loss of sleep, food fights and hair pulling and failed potty training attempts. But God saw fit to allow for something altogether different.

Six weeks before I delivered, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes (I took the glucose test really late in the game.) For the last month or so, I followed a strict diet and took medications to try and reverse the effects on myself and our little girl. I had a scheduled induction because she was measuring over 9lbs and considered high-risk at 39 weeks.

The delivery went smoothly, but five minutes after she was born, she was showing signs of hypoglycemia and respiratory distress. I didn't even get to see her closely or hold her before the doctor and nurses hurried her off to the NICU for special care. It was a very emotional day. I was on an antibiotic and could not go to visit her for the first 24 hours. When I did finally get to see her, I could not hold her because of all the machines/IV's she was connected to. I remember being alone in my hospital room without my newborn baby by my side and feeling completely helpless, angry, hopeless. The next week was filled with sleepless nights as I was home with the older two kids during the day. Then, as soon as my husband got home from work and visiting the NICU, I would take my turn. I would cry leaving the house because the older two would scream and fuss at my departure. Then I would cry seeing our daughter all tubed up in the NICU, and cry even harder when I had to leave in time for my husband to get to work the next morning. They were long days, and I was certainly running on adrenaline.

Then, miraculously we were able to take our little girl home one week after her birthday. My mother-in-law, a close friend from out of state, my church family, and husband all pitched in and helped to make the next couple weeks a breeze! However, during this time I started realizing there might be something wrong with me. The healing process seemed different this time. I dismissed a lot of symptoms and carried on. Then one night at 4am, I woke up with a high fever. I took some tylenol and then started having CHILLS. I capitalize that word because they were worse than any chills I had ever had in my life- my teeth were chattering, and I begged my husband to help hold me still. This went on for about 48 hours. I was just getting ready to go to the doctor when the fever broke and I dismissed it as a a viral infection. I scheduled my 6-week check up one week early because my husband had a day off.

On Thursday the 26th, I went in and described my 'weird recovery' symptoms, the doctor immediately scheduled an ultrasound. I went and the look on the tech's face told me something was wrong. She told me to wait in the waiting area afterwards and she was going to call the doctor. (That didn't sound good at all!) The doctor had me come back to her office and told me that I had 'retained placenta.' She said it was common, but that it was likely infected and they needed to do a simple surgery called a D&C right away. So, my husband cancelled work to be home with the kids, and we scheduled it for the next day.

I woke up Friday the 27th, made breakfast for the fam, and a friend dropped me off at the hospital. Because I was an add on, I had to wait several hours to be squeezed in to the schedule for the operating room. I had a lot of time to sit and stare at blank walls and think. I mainly thought "wow this is the first time away from home in over 6 weeks, and I get to do THIS?!" I was put under general anesthesia, and had a really great nap. I woke up in the over-crowded recovery room and within 30-45 minutes I was discharged with a list of instructions/prescriptions. Another friend came to pick me up and a transport guy whisked me to the front entrance in a wheel chair.

This is where things get interesting. My friend Jackie picked me up around 5:30pm in her new light-grey interior hybrid Honda. The transport guy tossed me a hospital-grade blanket and said "here, keep it!" Something compelled me to sit on the blanket when I got in her car. We got about 5 minutes down the road and I said "Jackie, we need to pull over, I think I am bleeding!" I looked down and there were trickles of blood at my feet. When I got out of the car, the blanket was completely saturated. I wanted to just call 911 from the side of the road, but my dear friend insisted that I get back in and she'd drive me back to the ER. I made a wise decision to sit on the rubber mat she had on the floor boards. When we got back to the hospital, I stood up kinda traumatized. I looked down and blood had pooled in the large mat to the point that it was almost over-flowing. I threw it from the car and made a trail of blood into the ER.

I never got through the lobby of an emergency room so quickly! Everyone saw the blood and rushed me into an open room. I remember that the blood just kept coming and coming, and I remember a ton of people. I remember Jackie, an old roommate, kept asking me "um, do you want me to stay or go?" And I remember getting poked and prodded by a few doctors/nurses. When the shock wore off, I realized at some point I had gotten into a hospital gown, had not one but two IV's, and that my husband was there. The bleeding was under control, and they were going to monitor me overnight. This was one of the longest nights of my life...scared the bleeding would happen again, worried about my poor husband taking care of all three babies back at the house, that total utter sense of loneliness washed over me again, much like the night just 5 weeks back.

The next day I was discharged after numerous blood tests (why on earth would you draw MORE blood, FOUR TIMES, didn't I NEED THAT?!) but I was in the clear and did not need a blood transfusion, though I was right at the borderline. This last week has been one of recovery, but I appeal to you, my blog readers, for prayers. My body still is weak and has not healed. I am in a lot of cramping/pain and light bleeding. I want to be at 100% for my family. I want to be energetic for my toddlers. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is oh. so. weak. Please also pray for continued healing for our daughter, Olivia Grace. She suffers from pretty bad GERD/acid reflux and is on medications that don't seem to be helping too much. Pray wisdom for our Pediatrician.

I know God has much to teach me in this valley. One of those sleepless nights I was headed to the NICU, and this song came on the radio. I leave you with the chorus- it's been a big encouragement to me.

"What if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise"

Photo Card

2011-05-25T02:03:00.001-05:00

Initial Impression Pink Baby Announcements

To see Shutterfly's birth announcement designs, click here.

View the entire collection of cards.

A "Royal" Wedding...are you invited?

2011-04-29T09:41:00.002-05:00

I was a bit surprised by so many of my friends updating their facebook status last night to let everyone know that they'd be tuning in to the Royal Wedding. I must admit I'd know nothing about it had I not spent the last week in the hospital surrounded by cable TVs and magazines. And, perhaps I would care a little bit more if I didn't have a new bundle of joy to distract me from current events. (What, did someone say there was a horrible tornado?) But this morning I got to thinking...maybe we were created to care about this wedding ceremony? Perhaps there's something deep within us all that makes us long for an invitation to THE royal wedding?

⁶ Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:

“Hallelujah!
For our Lord God Almighty reigns.
⁷ Let us rejoice and be glad
and give him glory!
For the wedding of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
⁸ Fine linen, bright and clean,
was given her to wear.”

(Fine linen stands for the righteous acts of God’s holy people.)

⁹ Then the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” And he added, “These are the true words of God.”

¹⁰ At this I fell at his feet to worship him. But he said to me, “Don’t do that! I am a fellow servant with you and with your brothers and sisters who hold to the testimony of Jesus. Worship God! For it is the Spirit of prophecy who bears testimony to Jesus.” (Revelation 19:6-10)

I've been to quite a few wedding celebrations in my day (my parents used to be in the 'wedding business.) I've seen and, with my sister's help and an endless budget, could probably throw quite a party. Yet in my heart I know that nothing on Earth could compare with what's to come for those who make up the Bride of Christ. John Piper has some good thoughts on the topic. Will you be on the guest list?

BLACK HOLES - BEFORE & AFTER

2011-04-09T22:49:00.008-05:00

Over the last several weeks, I have been loosely following the Project Simplify at SimpleMom.net. While I haven't participated fully- I felt inspired to tackle ALL of the black holes in my home. I didn't document all of them with photographs, but in the last 3 weeks, I managed to knock off the scary bathroom cupboard, the cluttered pantry, all the kitchen cabinets, the back porch, and the closets in each of the bedrooms! This is HUGE for me. Anyone can walk into my home tomorrow and open any closet or cupboard without fear of something falling on their head! (I make no promises that they won't uncover one or two junk drawers...I'm still human people!)

So, I thought you might enjoy some before & after photos of the areas I did document:

BACK PORCH BEFORE

BACK PORCH AFTER

ABBY'S CLOSET BEFORE

ABBY'S CLOSET AFTER

I was actually holding off doing Abby's closet because I had myself convinced that I needed this special closet rod before I could really tackle the job. Then, I read Tsh's post over at simplemom.net and realized I really had everything I needed on hand...a spare curtain rod, some yarn...I was good to go!

"Kyle hung a short, lower dowel with some heavy-duty string;

it’s simply tied from the top rod.

Now the kids can reach the clothes themselves

— that’s much more our style." -Tsh Oxenreider

ALL TO MAKE ROOM FOR

Lastly, here's some proof that I did in fact clean out all the kitchen cupboards- we've only been here since October, but I find it amazing how fast junk accumulates when I'm left in charge of its whereabouts! I have struggled with organization all my life. For me, I have realized that labeling, storage bins/baskets, and a 'cleanie' for a husband are the only reasons I have any hope for the future. I've never been more tempted to baby-proof my cabinets with locks than when I snapped this photo, or even just slide a wooden spoon through the handles!

KITCHEN CABINETS- DURING!

If you follow me on Facebook, you may have read that our home gains more living space during the warmer months. One of those areas is that back porch I cleaned out, the other is a spacious (by urban dweller standards) front patio that basically doubles the size of our 'master bedroom.' I'm not the only one excited to set this space up once the temperature climbs a little higher!

Abby and her books...

2011-03-15T23:06:00.008-05:00

Today, I got to hold Abby in my lap for awhile on the big red rocking chair. We rocked and rocked and read some books. We took in an episode of Blue's Clues. We ate a bowl of strawberries together. She leaned back into me and tucked her head under my chin. She finished my sentences when we read through 'My World.' At some point Daniel lost interest in his cars and trains and climbed up on my other knee. I tried to get him to sit through one reading of 'The Hungry Frog.' (I got this book from the bargain section of a Border's after seeing Despicable Me and the little finger puppet book about the kittens.) I thought it might keep his attention- we had it for all of 2 minutes and he was back in scavenger/explorer mode.

I love my daughter's love for books. As a kid I would often get into trouble for hiding in some part of our house (often the basement) with a book while I was supposed to be doing chores or practicing piano. I can't admit it was the best of literature (Babysitters Club series anyone?) I should've been obeying my mom's orders. I am still guilty of tuning out the world around me and any earthly responsibilities to enjoy a good read. Now, even better is being able to escape WITH my daughter to some magical undersea place, or pretend we're runaway sheep.

Back to the red rocking chair, and those few quiet moments. For a few minutes we just rocked and snuggled. I felt Abby's soft hair on my cheek. I held her hand. I'm not quite sure how mothers with many children live each day with their attention so divided. I read this post, and a part of my heart broke with the realization that soon, I won't be able to split my time in half, but in thirds! These littles deserve so much more from me...

Bread Heels and Apple Peels

2011-03-10T23:01:00.004-06:00

Awhile back, my sister was in town and we were reflecting on the 'sacrificing' aspects of motherhood. Perhaps you're a mom who gave up an exciting career path to stay home and raise your children. Maybe you were pregnant at a younger age and feel "robbed" of your 20's? My sis and I were reflecting on the things our own mom put aside- her needs/wants- in order to give us a better life.

I see it in almost every mother I meet- you get close enough to them, or spend enough time watching them and you'll realize the depth of love they have for their children. What have you 'given up' for the sake of your children?

The evening my sister and I were talking around the kitchen table, we concluded that it can all be summed up with bread heels and apple peels. Perhaps you've been there too. When my first child came along, I'd whip up some lunch and split a sandwich and an apple with her. By the time bambino #2 was eating finger foods, somehow my lunch became just the crusts of the bread from the PB&J, the apple's pesticide-laden peels...

Our daily sacrifices might come in the form of watching PBS cartoons instead of a soap opera. Or having friendships wane because your priorities have shifted so much to tending to the little lives at your feet. Maybe you used to go shop clearance racks at Target for some new clothes for yourself, and now you find yourself in the kid's section. Maybe it's just the loss of freedom felt when you realize you can't go everywhere you've always gone, or do everything you've always done.

I've realized over time the danger in this "self-sacrificing" mentality...and that, my friends, is the false sense of entitlement that it can lead to. I feel like every parenting magazine I pick up has some article about "finding time for yourself- because you deserve it!" I must admit it has taken me over 2 years to get past the idea that I owe it to myself to go out and get a cup of coffee, or a new outfit. I found the attitude I had formed even poisoning my marriage- thinking Joseph "owed" me a diaper change or the responsibility of taking over bath times.

I'm not sure exactly what the straw was that broke the camel's back...but sometime in the last few months I saw my selfishness for what it was. SIN. I saw my "sense of entitlement" for what it was. LIES FROM SATAN.

The Bible says that even our acts of righteousness are filthy rags to God (Isaiah 64). Jesus said “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me" (Luke 9). I always focused on the "cross" aspect of that verse, but I think the key words are "DENY THEMSELVES."

I didn't learn this lesson in Bible College doing Open Heir evangelism. I didn't learn it while serving God in India half a year. I didn't learn it in marriage. Nope, I entered into motherhood a VERY selfish person. I still struggle a lot, but I've seen how God is using this chapter of my life to shape me- really shape me. I'm finally figuring out that this life is not about me at all.

Who would've guessed that God's most powerful chisel would come in the form of a tiny babe?

A Day At the Children's Museum

2011-02-23T23:55:00.007-06:00

One of those cold, dreary Chicago afternoons a couple weeks back, we decided to take the kids to the Kohl's Children's Museum in the north suburbs. We weren't sure what to expect, but it ended up being a fun day!

DR. ABBY LEARNS ABOUT X-RAYS!

Daddy thinks it sparked further interest in ~~his~~ her desires to pursue a career in a medical field. I think she finally learned what the letter "X" stands for. I guess time will tell.

ABBY'S IMPRINT (ON THE LEFT)

I held up her braids like Pippi- she was really fascinated by this thing- we spent a lot of time making handprints.

DANIEL PLAYS IN A PADDED ROOM

...and I didn't even throw away the key! There wasn't much for kids his age, but they had a few "baby" areas where pre-walkers could roll around and play with toys.

ABBY MAKING WATER JUMP

The picture doesn't do it justice, but they have a whole section devoted to how we get energy from water. It was wet...lots of toddlers splashing and such. She had a blast.

DANIEL THE GOOD SPORT

He really didn't get much time out of the stroller, poor kiddo- and if he could walk/stand and have his hands free, there is so much he would've loved- we promised him we'd take him back in 6 months or so- I'm thinking a danny-daddy date.

ABBY GOES TO PLAY IN THE BLIZZARD

Just one last cheesy grin- daddy did take her out for about 15 minutes to make snow angels the day we were all snowed in. She loved it and cried when she had to come back in the house. She didn't like the hot chocolate and I had to make her chocolate milk instead. Crazy kid!

Daniel is ONE!

2011-02-10T23:58:00.005-06:00

THE MANY FACES OF DANIEL...

Daniel had the honor of spending is first birthday on Sanibel Island! We started the day with his favorite breakfast- french toast and fruit (namely peaches and bananas). Then, we packed some snacks and headed for a Dolphin/Sight-Seeing cruise aboard the Sanibel Thriller. He fell asleep in my arms during the somewhat chilly/windy boat ride, but he did see a couple dolphins jump! In the evening, we picked up an ice cream cake and opened a few small gifts. The evening ended with a cartoon movie about a Dolphin named Daniel!

Daniel is standing on his own really well, but hasn't taken those first steps yet. He cracks us up all the time, and is definitely going to be a comedian! He has an independent streak and will rarely allow us to spoon feed him. He loves to go into other rooms and explore on his own. He is always right at my feet if I'm cooking something in the kitchen. He is overjoyed when daddy gets home from work. He's somewhat chill, but can go from extremely happy to being extremely sad at the drop of a hat!

The night he was born, God put it on my heart that this little guy was going to change our family- that we were going to learn a great deal from him. There's so much in store for little Danny!

How Mr. Noodle Has Changed Me

2011-01-17T01:12:00.005-06:00

Well, not THE Mr. Noodle, this Mr. Noodle:

It's after 1am, the world is asleep, and I am wide awake with pregnancy-induced insomnia. I just got beat very badly by some guy from Poland on a round of internet-based Blokus, then stumbled on this VERY HUMBLING ARTICLE (that is, if you are a night-owl like myself.)

And I must admit, my darling Mr. Noodle has done his best to change me for the better. I have always secretly aspired to be a morning person. I don't think I'd be categorized as "grumpy" in the morning, and I am always able to get up when duty calls. However, I much rather get things accomplished under the moonlight and snuggle/lay around during the daytime hours. Tonight after 10pm, I made fruit kabobs and THESE MUFFINS for a mom's group tomorrow morning. I scrubbed down the whole kitchen, then got laundry sorted to throw in first thing in the morning. (That last part solely because Abby requested to wear her *dirty* Rapunzel shirt tomorrow).

But in my heart, I know that I am not doing the best for my family. Abby is my night owl- she actually stayed awake with me through the muffin making. However, Daniel is in bed by 8:30 almost every night like clockwork. He rises smiling with the sun. Sometimes we get in crying fights because it's 7am, he's ready to start his day, and I am just too tired. I know that God is using little Daniel to shape and even chasten me in so many ways. Read the article...it's convicting! Now I'm going to try and fall asleep because tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it!

Second Born...

2011-01-06T00:54:00.003-06:00

It's so hard to stand back and watch while your older sister has all the fun. I speak from experience.

Birthday Party

2010-12-22T00:32:00.003-06:00

Christmas, it's always been for me

A time for friends and family

A time for presents under the tree

What's it been for you?

The Virgin Birth clothed in humility

A moonlit night, some stars, some sheep

Emmanuel, you ask, 'Who's He?'

As if no one ever knew

And this birthday party might be something more

If the Guest of Honor came through the door

But since He doesn't we choose to forget

What the beauty of this day meant-

To a mother and father in Bethlehem

Gleaming over the Spotless Lamb,

To Shepherds hearing angels on the hill-

Won't you stop for a moment?

Just be still- and sing

Gloria in Excelsis Deo

The Christ child is here

Gloria in Excelsis Deo

Won't you come, draw near

To the One who came

And stepped into flesh

So that you might receive

A hope for Eternity

Christmas 2010

2010-12-21T12:15:00.011-06:00

Well, I am starting to get the hang of this whole concept of being a mother at Christmas time. I have realized that if I don't plan and execute the festivities, the holidays will just pass us by with barely a passing glance! This book has been an inspiration to me. While I've always kinda taken a benchwarmer approach to the Christmas season, I've really stepped up my game this year for my family's sake!

My big hope is that I can carve out meaningful family traditions and that, come Christmas Day around bedtime, the kids would be reflecting on the birth of their Savior, Jesus Christ, rather than on the favorite toy they got that day.

Our Christmas events this year started with the tree- Abby and I put it up one Saturday evening just the two of us, and had a really fun time doing it!

During naptime one snowy day, I decorated the fireplace mantle. I decided to use the wooden blocks and embrace the fact that I have 2 small children!

I tried my hand at glass etching, and realized it takes a little more attention to fine detail than I can muster at this stage of life. Joseph came out looking like a sea urchin:

For the first time that I can remember, I actually baked Christmas cookies! I organized a cookie swap with a bunch of friends for added motivation. My husband isn't big on sweets, but the kids sure liked them! Well, Daniel really liked them...

Abby liked only the strawberry-jam filled center of them!

I was tempted to refill her cookie and stick it back on the plate, but the guests were due any minute!

Lastly, this year I've been working on a couple handmade gifts- since it seems to be the "in" thing. Here's Abby modeling my niece Ava's new hat/scarf set. While I'll never be good enough for my own Etsy store, I figure they'll only get better with each passing year, and I'll be that crazy aunt that sends the ugly scarves! (P.S. Don't worry Ava, I got you a few things from Toys R Us too!)

We're off to Ohio to spend Christmas Eve with my family, then we'll make the trek back Christmas Day to visit with my husband's family and join in worship here at our home church Sunday morning. It's going to be a busy week! Time to get packing...

Big Plans for Advent

2010-12-03T17:35:00.005-06:00

Well, what can I say? I am a girl of many good intentions.

I had big plans for Advent, getting lots of inspiration from here, here, and here. Having both been raised Roman Catholic, my husband and I often lament that Christian Evangelicals just don't do up the Christmas season quite enough! Sometimes I crave the liturgy. That being said, I have realized that we can carry out some of our childhood traditions in our home. One afternoon a couple weeks ago, Abby and I set out to make an Advent Calendar. I had plans to write out Bible verses, various activities we could do as a family, get a wreath with candles to light- you know, all that fun stuff. We got to day 10 that afternoon, and I haven't gone back to it since.

Fortunately, not all is lost, but our Advent celebrations have started off quite meager:

Yes, that is a 2 dollar chocolate Advent calendar.

That's not to say I haven't been doing ANYTHING lately, I have brushed up on my crochet skills! (Or lack thereof)

Daniel is also gearing up for his first real Chicago winter...

And crawls out of his pants almost every day- I guess he's not quite the roly poly I give him credit for!

Incentives...

2010-09-03T23:35:00.010-05:00

Abby was recently awarded what has to be the world record for potty training incentives. We had kinda taken a break from this whole process with the move, and we had a few failed attempts over the last few weeks, but Abby KNEW that, if and when she did decide to go in the potty, she would be sweetly rewarded...

It should also be noted here that Abby did not finish the giant lollipop...nor did she share.

She might've even rubbed it in a little...

I guess I will just have to show her these photos and tell her the story a couple years from now when she is (Oh God I pray!) out of diapers and it's little brother's turn. For now it's probably best for him to just go through life with his eyes closed.

In other news, we had a really fun time at the Lincoln Park Zoo last week- the weather was perfect, & we enjoyed good fellowship. Abby loved watching the monkeys with grandma...

And Daniel enjoyed looking at the people and chewing on his stroller harness...

But the definite highlight -as always- was hanging out at the petting zoo & feeding the dairy cows!

Tune in next week because we're *hopefully* off to the races this weekend! Not a wholesome trotting race, no, but a race where they sit down right on the horse!

Counting down the days until...

2010-08-20T23:23:00.004-05:00

My little darling is growing up WAY too fast. September 15th is the day. I'm planning a big bash, and we're really thinking through the gifts. They'll most likely a trike from momma and a pearl necklace (I know, I know, so I married an Indian...) from da-da. She also needs a more kid-friendly purse, because the fisher price medical bag is annoying. I can't wait to celebrate her life in a few short weeks!

Pure Michigan

2010-07-13T12:05:00.003-05:00

Unfounded Fears

2010-06-25T00:04:00.005-05:00

I think I have always struggled a little bit with unfounded fears. Ever since Daniel entered out lives, I've been watching him like a hawk. It took me almost 3 months before I would put him down on the floor where Abby was walking around. It took me another 2 months to leave them alone in the same room for even a second. She's never been around other babies much, she doesn't have a pet to learn to be gentle...I am extremely cautious/fearful. In my heart I know that she would not intentionally hurt Daniel, but I can see her being careless, something bad happening, and me blaming her when I really only have myself to blame.

So, finally, 5 months into it, I have been more and more lax. The other day we got home from being out and about and I put Daniel down on the bed. Abby was running from room to room like she always does when we first get home. I handed her a cup and started putting stuff away. Then there was this eerie quiet. I felt a little nervous and decided I'd better scope out what was going on. I found Abby sitting on the bed right next to her brother. She had snuck into her crib and grabbed her binky, (we permit it right now only during bedtime) and she was laying next to her baby bro just chilling out.

It warmed my heart, let me tell ya! Then Daniel started trying to grab hold of her shirt and pull her hair and ruined the scene (but isn't that what a little bro is supposed to do?)

P.S. He watches her EVERY move.

We're moving.

2010-06-16T17:18:00.003-05:00

And I'm feeling bittersweet about it. Mainly because of the packing.

10 Confessions of a shabby housewife.

2010-05-20T23:18:00.005-05:00

Danny's got the right idea!

(10) I haven't really cooked dinner in a long time.

(9) To the point that I'm getting sick of take-out!

(8) I am having a hard time losing the preggo weight this time around and think 8.9.& 10 are

related!

(7) That, and my chocolate addiction (Cadbury Dairy Milk anyone?)

(6) I haven't really done laundry in a looong time either- just keep washing enough to get by.

(5) I see no point in going to bed between the hours of 11pm & 2am- I'd rather stay awake then

do a feeding as opposed to being awakened from deep sleep by a hungry child.

(4) Yesterday my husband asked me if I wanted to take a shower while he watched the kids.

(3) My only pair of eyeglasses that have survived motherhood are being held together by paper clips, and yesterday one of the lenses popped out- I've searched everywhere.

(2) I moved my herb garden outside and "Mother Nature" is doing a much better job than I

did with watering/sunlight

(1) A week ago I discovered I could watch all seasons of the Office on Netflix. I started at the

very beginning...I'm on season 5.

BATH TIME!

2010-05-18T00:31:00.003-05:00

My second-born best friend and I often get in discussions about our older siblings and how we differ from them. Both of our older sisters will spend hours in the bathroom & in front of the mirror "primping." We, however, can jump out of the shower and be ready in minutes! I have realized that I spent a whole lot more time bathing/massaging/primping Abby in her first year of life when there was just one babe to tend to than I do with Daniel. I wonder if this will carry on throughout their lives because of the pattern that's been established early on? I'm glad I had a boy 2nd!

Joseph once worked at a nursing home where they gave out baths as prizes for bingo. (Instead of just one a week, they could have 2!) It hasn't gotten QUITE that bad around here, but this boy sure loves his baths when he gets them!

What we're reading...

2010-03-22T23:41:00.003-05:00

This past week was a first ever "sick week" at our house. I was beginning to think that Abby would never be sick having gone 18 months of her little life without incident. Those feelings quickly vanished- about as fast as that case of diapers and wipes we went through. I learned a lot about Abby and myself last week, but the biggest lesson is that my energetic little toddler really loves to cuddle and read and read and read when she doesn't feel well. I got to the end of the week no longer sick of anything but our current library of children's books. I was inspired by this to compile a list of Abby's current favorite reads. We're open to some new suggestions...what do your kids love to read?

Bunny's Noisy Book- still a favorite after all these months!

Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You?

There's a Wocket in my Pocket

A Night Night Prayer

Goodnight Gorilla (took me a long time to get into this one.)

Goodnight Moon (took Abby a long time to get into this one- but I was determined she'd like it or else! :-)

The Foot Book

The Nose Book

I'm A Big Sister

This pretty much sums up our "go to" list.

Now, for what I'm reading these days- all of which are or have been a great enjoyment:

Still really like this Study Bible- just finished Daniel, heading to Galatians

My Utmost for His Highest is always my fall-back devotional during busy seasons of life

Love & War (just finished it, getting ready to go through it again with the hubby)

Mudhouse Sabbath

Silence

Where've you been?

2010-03-22T13:40:00.004-05:00

Abby likes to keep an eye on Daniel- just in case he spit out his pacifier or something!
Daniel really likes riding in the bassinet attachment thingy for our double stroller...yeah we're city people.
Abby's trying to get a handle on pedaling her giraffe from Grandpa Findley
Abby in pigtails.

I'm such a horrible blogger! I love reading other people's blogs, but I've sorely neglected my own. I haven't gone anywhere but since the last post, we did welcome a handsome little bundle into our world- Daniel Kaleb. If you follow me on facebook though, that is OLD NEWS.

Thought I'd post a couple photos of life around the house. This week it's starting to warm up, spring is in the air and I am so excited!

What's For Dinner?

2010-01-12T22:45:00.003-06:00

I've been inspired to start making more sense of my kitchen/fridge/pantry. (Okay, the "inspiration" came in the form of a husband who's tired of seeing me throw away rotten produce.) I've decided, since my camera broke and I'm not able to take many pictures these days (we still have the video camera, it's just way too complicated) I will blog about our meals and see if it keeps me accountable.

I am fortunate to have a husband that much rather eat beans and rice than steak and potatoes, so the food budget is pretty reasonable. I'm also thankful for a corner store half a block away that sells decent seasonal produce on the very cheap. We usually go to the grocery store 2 times a month, and run to smaller produce stores for things throughout the week. I love our grocery store because of the excellent fish, produce, and international offerings. I especially love that they opened a new location right next to Wal-Mart and Babies-R-Us with tons of free parking and no crazy "Devon" crowds! (Devon is the Indian/Pakistani part of town where we used to shop.)

Let it be said here that I've always been in my sister's shadow in regards to cooking. While I am no Johnson & Wales graduate, and have never claimed to be a good cook, I am enjoying learning new recipes and broadening my horizons. I'm also getting creative with leftovers!

Our family eats beef or poultry one or two nights a week. We eat a lot of salmon and halibut if we can find it on sale. We also love shrimp. (We buy much of our seafood at Costco once a month.) We rather feast on these higher end items one or two nights a week than eat chicken or ground beef every day. That being said, I know my menu planning will certainly not appeal to everyone, or even be possible for people living in places where ingredients are difficult to find.

Lastly, I'm also fortunate that my mom-in-law lives right upstairs, and at least 2 times a week brings me a side dish to incorporate somehow (even more often when a baby is on the way :-). I often return the favor.

So, now I'm going to break down the week, and show what we've been consuming around here!

BREAKFAST:

Omelets or Scrambled Eggs
Toast or Bagels
Fruit (Grapes, Apples, Berries)
Cereals (Cheerios, Mini-Wheats)

LUNCH: (Super kid friendly/easy, as Joseph often just grabs something at work or I pack him leftovers from dinner the night before.)

Kraft Mac N Cheese (I am going to blog honestly :-)
Frozen Fish Sticks
Frozen Popcorn Chicken
Tuna Salad Sandwiches
Pasta/Sauce
Turkey/Provolone Melts
Veggies (broccoli, green peas, corn, carrots- always steamed with a little butter/salt/pepper)
Fruits (grapes, apples, kiwi, blueberries, pears, bananas, clementines have all been consumed this week- I have a fruititarian daughter :-)

DINNER:

Sunday Night: Eggplant Parmesean, Pasta, Broccoli, Garlic Bread
Monday Night: Blackened Salmon, Thai -Style Asparagus, Oloo Baigan (Potato/Eggplant
Curry) and Lemon Rice made from leftover rice from 2 nights ago.
Tuesday Night: Joseph's mom brought down 2 Indian dishes, and I made some seasoned
basmati rice (Pulaou) and yogurt salad (raita).
Wed. Night: Beef Kabobs (with onion & mushroom) brown rice, and yellow lentil soup
(moong daal)
Thursday Night: Black Bean Tortilla Soup and all the trimmings (avocado, cheese, sour cream,
salsa, chips, etc.)
Friday Night: Homeade French Bread Veggie Pizza, Fruit Salad
Saturday Night: Broccoli Cheddar Soup, French Bread, Leftover Fruit Salad

Wed.-Saturday subject to change if more food shows up on my doorstep ;-) Thanks for reading, and let me know if you want a recipe!

Elmo's, errr, Abby's World

2009-10-15T21:24:00.017-05:00

I'm finally getting around to posting some photos from Abby's first birthday party. We had an Elmo's World theme, complete with an amazing Elmo smash cake I wish I could take the credit for, and a Dorothy the Goldfish! Laura and Ava were in town, which made things even more festive. Thanks to Laura, Krista, and especially Joseph for helping to pull off quite a celebration!

Somehow, Abby's been able to acquire not one, not two but THREE Elmo Live toys. It should be noted that ALL of them make noise, that mommy and daddy have not purchased a single one, and that mommy definitely has a love-hate realationship with this little red creature that insists on speaking in the 3rd person. He did make for a fun birthday party though :-)

Here's the birthday girl, camera shy like her daddy...

Nothing quite so sweet as two sisters and their two girls! Laura in town meant for amazing (read-effortless!) food as well!

One year down, our little girl is now running all over the place, climbing all over daddy (& the furniture), saying "hi" to every stranger, eating everything from chocolate cake to mutton biryani, showering us with kisses and smiles, and daily bringing us so much joy!

Beauty

2009-09-14T14:20:00.004-05:00

I can honestly say that my daughter's beauty is much more than "skin deep." Everyday I grow to appreciate her caring heart and gentle spirit more and more. Thanks, God, for entrusting me with this amazing little girl.

27 Dresses

2009-08-13T16:31:00.006-05:00

Contrary to my loving husband's belief, Abby's clothes were not all dirty, they were all dirty AND all too small! Somewhere along the line I saw the need to acquire a zillion pretty cotton sundresses in the 12-18 month size, but there are no play clothes to be had (aside from just a few outfits.) Time to hit my favorite thrift store! Here's a fun photo of Abby enjoying an August peach (her nakedness a testament to the lack of clothing :-).

What we've been up to...

2009-07-21T17:16:00.005-05:00

We've been working on her pronunciation, because "Clap Clap Clap" comes out a little more like "Quack Quack Quack" but I'm still pretty proud of my little girl :-)

To An Alaskan Glacier

2009-06-13T12:48:00.003-05:00

Out of the cloud-world sweeps thy awful form,

Vast frozen river, fostered by the storm

Upon the drear peak's snow-encumbered crest,

Thy sides deep grinding in the mountain's breast

As down its slopes thou plowest to the sea

To leap into thy mother's arms, and be

There cradled into nothingness...

-Charles Keeler

Springtime

2009-05-19T22:45:00.004-05:00

Our Springtime afternoons have been filled to overflowing with smiles, swings, slides, sunglasses and stroller rides in the sunshine!

GETTING READY TO LEAVE FOR THE PARK

LOOK MA, NO HANDS!

CHECK OUT MY COOL NEW SHADES!I'M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS SWINGING THING!

READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP!

First Biscuit

2009-05-05T00:01:00.000-05:00

On Marriage...

2009-04-27T15:52:00.003-05:00

Lately, God is doing a work in me regarding my marriage relationship. He's stripping away all my selfish layers, showing me my ugly self, and chastening me through sermons, church gatherings, music, and even blogs.

I've been married less than 2 years. I've felt that my life has been in fast forward, acquiring a home, in-laws, a couple rental units, major appliances, a car, etc., and biggest of all, a baby girl. Only recently have I been able to stop and smell the roses, or more importantly weed the dandelions and do some painful pruning. I know these 18 months are just a drop in the bucket, and that God is going to do an amazing work through my marriage towards making me more like Christ. Fortunately my husband and daughter are pretty patient through this whole surrendering process.

Pondering

2009-04-16T23:47:00.005-05:00

"Though a mother's work can seem monotonous or repetitive when it comes to doing the laundry or changing the diapers, we have to have the eyes of faith as we go. God blesses all those loving duties to the prospering of the souls of both mother and children. Reading stories over and over, stacking the blocks one more time, washing a face, wiping a nose, changing a wet diaper, or putting fresh sheets on the bed are all ways a mother cares for her children and communicates love and security. And in some mysterious way, God uses it like sunshine and water on a tender plant. So we plant and water, but He gives the increase." (Nancy Wilson, Building her House)

So, all afternoon my daugher was experimenting with her vocal chords, and sounding like a little 2 year old boy screaming up a storm. EVERY time I told her "No" in a firm voice, she smiled and did it again. Just when I had my fill, I decided to head to the flower shop at the end of the block for some fresh cut daisies. When we got there, the sweet old Polish lady handed Abby a carnation. I was thinking to myself "crazy woman, what are you thinking?!" I was certain Abby would either tear it apart or try to eat it. Then something amazing happened! My sweet, precious Abby didn't try even one nibble, but rather held it firmly in her fist just a few inches from her face and stared at it intently.

Today, following a long afternoon of high-pitched screaming, I needed to see this more gentle side come out. I really have a sweetheart on my hands, and I'm so undeserving. I'm asking the Lord for wisdom to continue nourishing this little soul.

Holy Week

2009-04-07T14:18:00.003-05:00

I've decided to make this week a little more focused on the spiritual, a little less on the physical. I'm daily reminded that this world is not my home, but also that my home should be the hub for all things spiritual while I am on this Earth. Lately, I've been challenged by others' blogs in the area of homemaking. With Resurrection Sunday approaching, I've realized I need to carve out some family traditions before we get ahead of ourselves.

My search for some ideas for family devotions led me to a neat blog with a downloadable PDF of Scripture readings. I'm making meatless dinners throughout the week, (shrimp curry tonight, beans and rice tomorrow, eggplant parmesean thursday). While my husband has practice for the Passion Play the next 3 nights, I will be tending to the house and trying to have story time more directed towards Jesus' death & resurrection. I'm also thinking of organizing a foot washing, anyone ever try this?

On a less spiritual note, last night I put together a little basket for Abby to "find" Sunday morning (I think I'm going to just put a blanket over it and see if she'll pull it off!) And I bought 3 dozen eggs at Costco, because we needed eggs, and I thought it might be fun to color some with her.

On Sunday, we'll have the in-laws over for a meal, and I might try my hand at some sticky buns.

Cleaning out the pantry...

2009-04-01T13:26:00.005-05:00

I've been meaning to do it for weeks. Now I have the inspiration from this post I was led to recently via Gina's blog. The cool spring breeze, the sleepy baby, and the clocking ticking away the hours until dinner time are all helping me to rise to the challenge!

A while back, I pulled out the entire contents of the cupboard above my sink, and decided to organize all my indian spices. I had been saving glass jars from various sauces, jams, chutneys, etc., and I picked up a cool lazy susan from Ikea. After a couple hours of breathing in red chili powder, cumin, and garam masala, my little project was complete.

However, I quickly realized once I was finished that I had way more daal (dried beans/lentils) that I could've ever imagined. It seems every time I go to Devon (Indian grocery part of town) I pick up another bag of one of our favorites resulting in multiple bags of the same kind.

All that to say, it's time to start cooking from the pantry. I'll begin with a collection of favorite recipes from this cookbook gifted to me by my loving sister, followed by some insights from my favorite online Indian chef. It helps tremendously that my husband is much more of a rice and beans kind of guy than a meat and potatoes guy...I'll let you know how it goes, now I'm off to quick soak some kidney beans!

Wedding Season

2009-03-28T16:01:00.004-05:00

Well, last weekend Abby survived her first wedding, and I thought I'd post some pictures of her in her ball gown below :-) Congrats to George & Daisy Peters, Hutts and Sarah, you are NEXT!

Happy Days Are Here Again

2009-03-19T13:18:00.001-05:00

Chicago winters are so long and dreary. I'm so thankful to God that my "March Madness" is over. Abby and I celebrated yesterday with a trip to the playground (I walked 3 miles to get to a playground that wasn't "creepy." ) Here's a fun video of Abby's first real swinging experience. She did go once before on a random warm day, but after 2 seconds she was unhappy. She's a lot older now and had a grand old time! She especially enjoyed checking out the other kids...

Winter days have been spent playing with toys, learning to sit, roll (still not to excited about that one) stand with support, smile, eat real food (okay, mush) and most of all reading! Here's some of our favorite books- just to name a few, inspired by Gina's latest post here.

GUESS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU
CHICKA CHICKA BOOM BOOM
BUNNY'S NOISY BOOK

Too Right to be Wrong

2009-03-10T23:53:00.000-05:00

Lately I have been deeply burdened for a friend. She's often distant but in the past couple months has been seeking me out and opening up about her struggles. She's suffering from the classic "This feels so right it can't possibly be wrong."

I feel like we've all been there. Especially as women, our hearts weigh in the balance when flesh and spirit collide. It may be as simple as a healthy eating lifestyle versus chocolate, ice cream and soda. Or, as in my dear sister J's case, as complicated as chosing to date a potential life partner that does not have a relationship with Jesus.

I can attest to the fact that it is painful to be in your mid to late 20's and single. I know the waiting is the hardest part of all. When a "good" man by the world's standards comes into your life and tries to woo you, it's quite hard to keep your guard up.

I've been trying hard to know how to feel and how best to counsel this dear sister. In so many ways she's one of the strongest, most disciplined people I have in my life. I keep telling her to stay close to the Lord, and that I trust her judgment.

But just now, I read Emily's post HERE and I glanced down my darling sleeping baby and my eyes were opened. My husband and I came from unbelieving families. We are determined, with this new generation to not bring the sins carried down from our ancestors, and create a life and home (wherever that may be) where Jesus reigns, and where our children will never have to question our convictions/values and true alliance.

I praise God that I married a man who's heart belonged to Jesus. I cannot imagine bringing a child into a home where the first concept of who God the Father is comes from a man who wants little to do with Scripture, Christian Fellowship, and Prayer.

One thing I have also discovered through marriage is that, while we are all growing and changing through life, you pretty much get the man and all his shortcomings that were present the day you walked down the aisle. It hurts my heart to think that J may make a choice that will affect future generations when God has taken her so far from darkness into His glorious light.

Don't step on a crack or...

2009-03-06T00:43:00.001-06:00

About a month ago, I slipped on a patch of ice off our deck and came crashing down on a concrete step, landing flat on my back. After a day or two I was back to normal. Then Wednesday happened. Lately, I have been waking up and hitting the ground running. After scrubbing my kitchen, tidying the living room, and playing with Abby, I put her down for a nap and headed to the basement to tend to the never ending laundry. At one point I picked up a basket and turned from the dryer, then SNAP CRACKLE POP, I fell to my knees. I have never felt so much pain in my life. My back completely gave out. I dropped everything and began the long ascent to my bed, basically doing the G.I. Joe crawl. I called Joseph and he got home early. Abby seemed very confused as we were stuck in bed and both crying!

So, Tuesday night was the ER where they sent me home after few tests with muscle relaxers. This did absolutely nothing. Joseph took Wednesday off and nursed me (gotta love being married to an RN!) and I decided I should try a chiropractor (still not convinced they're not quacks, but I guess it helped a little) and Thursday a dear friend and her husband and baby came to help all day while Joseph was at work. I am walking now (like a 90 year old woman) but still cannot pick up Abby on my own. Tomorrow and Saturday Joseph is going on a Men's retreat, and my trusty old roommate is going to come spend the night. Looking forward to watching girly movies and spending time catching up with her even if it's not the greatest of circumstances.

As for now, I'm waiting up until I can take another dose of Aleve, and eating Dove dark chocolates even though I intended to give up chocolate for Lent...hoping God understands?

My Thoughts on Slumdog

2009-02-23T16:29:00.000-06:00

Last night around 11:00pm, Joseph and I were jumping up and down and embracing over Slumdog Millionaire winning Best Picture at the Oscars. Then, five minutes into a discussion on the film, I realized were were rejoicing for different reasons. He was excited because there were so many Indians represented on stage. This was a little neat for me, but I had other reasons. Here they are:

(1) The movie wasn't made by Indians/Bollywood.
(2) The movie exposed outsiders to issue like poverty, child prostitution, and government corruption, major issues in India that are often ignored.
(3) Slumdog winning meant that a Hollywood movie didn't win. Yeah!

Okay, now I am going to expand on my reasons for rejoicing.

Bollywood sucks. There are a small of Bollywood movies I have seen and actually enjoyed watching and would recommend to others. (See recommended films at the end of this post). The rest are garbage. Junk. The equivalent to B-rated Hallmark movies with 80's music videos dispersed throughout. I am so excited this brilliant film was made with the backdrop of India, that the beauty of the country was so creatively displayed, and that very few Bollywood actors were incorporated. I hope this is a wake up call to the Indian film industry.

Indians will rarely admit that things like child prosititution, and extreme poverty are plaguing their nation. Such issues are hardly ever addressed in mainstream media, and do not come up in conversation. This film is getting so much attention (and rightly so) in India that it is bound to stir up some harsh realities.

Lastly, I am amused that films like that weird Benjamin Button movie, and the controversial Milk, that probably think they have a pretty good shot at Best Picture got beat out by a low-budget foreign film. HA HA HA. And, I hope it's a wake up call to Hollywood that they need to make better movies, not weird movies, not controversial movies, but the kind of movies that families can learn from, laugh, cry, be angry, and fight for the main characters, and then digest over the next several weeks.

Slumdog Millionaire is right up there with The Pianist, Life is Beautiful, and Tiger in the Snow. If you haven't seen it, try to catch it in the theater to fully experience the amazing cinematography. If that's not possible, order some Indian take-out (or at least get some chai from Starbucks?) and rent it when it hits DVD.

Some other decent Indian films (though Slumdog takes top billing) in order of preference:

(2) Lagaan
(3) Kal Ho Naa Ho
(4) Mr. & Mrs Iyer
(5) Baghban
(6) Kabhi Kushi Kabie Gham
(7) Swades

Yeah, that's pretty much it, there may be other gems out there, but I haven't seen them! I count Monsoon Wedding and Namesake as Hollywood, so they didn't make the list, but they're a good watch too.

Before I am 30

2009-02-20T00:09:00.000-06:00

My 30th birthday is looming. I turn 29 in 2 days. I have decided that I haven't accomplished nearly enough in the last 29 years. and (yes, I said 29, 0-1, 1-2, 2-3 etc.) as I start what technically is my 30th year of life, I need a little motivation to make dent and do something of significance.

So here's the list:

(1) Write a book(2) Travel to a country or far away state I've never seen(3) Lose 30lbs(4) Run a 5k(5) Paint my bathroom(6) Oversee finishing my basement(7) Begin teaching students music lessons(8) Have at least 1 recital for my music students(9) Record an album of lullabys(10) Plant flowers at my mom's grave site(11) Mail a large care package to dear friends in India(12) Start a scrapbook for Abby(13) Learn how to operate/ride a motorcycle(14) Develop a weekly menu/grocery system for meals(15) Get to "level two" of the Hindi language(16) Potty train Abby(17) Visit the Chicago Museum of Art(18) Go Camping at Starved Rock(19) Acquire an electric guitar(20) Have Sunday morning Kids Worship being led entirely by kids(21) Lead a weekly Bible study group for moms(22) Learn to make and jar Indian pickle (mango or lemon, or both!)(23) Have a yard sale(24) Go sailing with my husband on Lake Michigan(25) Plant a vegetable garden (26) Peel off the wallpaper in my living and dining room and either paint or re-wallpaper it(27) Sand and stain my front door(28) Paint my front porch railings black(29) Read the Bible all the way through in order(30) Take a photography course (because my daughter is so cute- my bad pictures do not do her justice!)

Traveling through India...

2009-02-15T02:44:00.001-06:00

Joseph and I traveled through India today...on Google Earth.
Have you checked it out yet? I must say this application is pretty amazing. So, I saw Janak Puri where he was raised, and we headed west to Varanasi where I spent most of my time. Then we toured Mount Abu, where Joseph attended boarding school in Rajasthan , lastly, we went to Colva Beach in Goa (where this photo was taken in 2005.)

Fun times...I am wondering where we'll head next?

A Spring-like Saturday

2009-02-11T02:44:00.000-06:00

I woke up Saturday morning to the sun pouring through our windows. I knew it was going to be a special day. The main events? Pancakes, plant care, news of a special engagement, and a walk next to the Lake. Just when cabin fever hit its peak, God saw fit to melt the snow and give Chicagoans a breath of fresh air.

AH, as a newly ENGAGED friend often reminds me...we've got it GOOD!

Abby Singing Happy Birthday

2009-01-11T08:24:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Dad

2009-01-11T07:56:00.001-06:00

There isn't a day that goes by lately that I don't think about my mom. When the Lord brought our daughter into my life, I realized just how much more she has done for me that I never ever acknowledged. The late-night feedings and diaper changes day after day after day that keep a baby content/growing/developing. But, watching Joseph interact with Abby, I also have a deepening respect for my dad. While I can't really categorize our relationship as very close, when I look back on History Day projects, and getting my first car, and practicing the saxophone before a big "Solo and Ensemble Contest", I remember my father sacrificing his free time (however little and precious) to help make me into the woman I am today...

And though we're in different states and time zones, and I no longer need his wok popcorn, or late night oven-baked bagles, or financial support, or musical genius (I didn't quite turn out as well in that dept.) I do need his love and long to hear the stories of his early days with mom, and his corny jokes...here's to many MANY years to come Papa Findley. Thank you for your deep love for us.

Cradle Cap??

2009-01-06T15:33:00.000-06:00

Hey, just a shout out, I'm wondering if anyone has a good remedy for cradle cap. Poor Abby has a pretty severe case, to the point that it's contributing to hair loss, patches of hair are coming out with the cradle cap scales. Gross!

We try rubbing her head with organic oil, shampooing often, combing, etc. It's all temporary and tomorrow the scales/rough patches will be back. I'm scared to try head and shoulders. Any ideas?

Excited for tomorrow, my friend Patty and I are heading to Ikea. For this evening, it's off to the "Clean Queen Laundromat" since the washer has yet to be replaced. Yippee...

Flying time...

2009-01-03T17:18:00.000-06:00

Abby's almost 4 months old, and I can't believe how she's growing and developing each day right in front of my eyes. She's grabbing hold of everything, and putting it straight into her mouth...her blanket, my hair, dad's tee-shirt, her rattle...

I am so thankful for the days to just be home and chill with my baby girl, but also can't wait for the next season of Spring so I can take her crusing through Avondale in her stroller. I hope this winter isn't going to be as bitter and long as I have a feeling it will be.

Tonight, we're going to hang with our silver friends, hopefully play another round of Blockus so I can beat Nick, and eat my own version of Chipotle burrito bowls, since I've been craving that and haven't had the opportunity to go lately.

Anxious for church tomorrow at New Life Community Church Jefferson Park. I'm starting back with leading the kiddos worship time at the 11:00 service. I'm going to introduce a new song each week, any suggestion for kids 1st-5th grade??

Silver and Gold

2009-01-02T01:49:00.000-06:00

Make new friends

But keep the old

One is silver

And the other's gold

I don't remember when I first heard this song, but it's in my head tonight. It's about 1:45 in the morning, and I just settled myself on the sofa with my head full of thoughts on friendship.

To begin, I must say how glad I am that I am a child of the LIVING GOD. Before I was adopted into God's family, my life was empty, joyless, self-seeking, and desperate for fulfillment and truth. While I have always had good friends, these relationships pale in comparison with true fathers, mothers, brothers and sisters in Christ.

The family of God took on an even deeper meaning as I progressed into marriage. When we were planning our wedding, Joseph and I were certain that Kevin and Adriane Wilson were 2 people we had to have by our side. This was the couple that mentored us and prayed us through our early dating relationship, who opened up their home to Joseph when he became unexpectedly homeless at one point in college, and who generously gave of their own resources to gift us with the most incredible honeymoon we could ever have imagined. These are the type of friends that you can go months without talking to, and yet know at a moment's notice you could drop yourself on their doorstep, and they would welcome you with open arms.

Gold friends are the kind of people you wonder how you live without, until the silver friends roll into your life. Relationships take on an even deeper meaning when you have a child. It's one thing to find a couple that will also love your spouse, and it's altogether different to find a couple that will love your child like she is their own. Nick and Krista Rakochy are such silver friends. Yes they made the 6 hour trip to our wedding, even helped us address the invites, but they only knew us for about 6 months. In the last year, they have loved on us, laughed and wept with us, cared for us, and reminded us of just how sweet the family of God is. These silver friends have given of all their resources to show love to us by helping design & put together Abby's room, by intervening with landlord-tenant issues, by opening their home for small Bible-study groups, by preparing meals for us, by coming to the hospital not once but twice to welcome our daughter into the world, and the list goes on. Thank you Father God, for gold and silver friends who, when Satan tempts me to fear I am all alone in this world, remind me of Your goodness and grace in the land of the living.

Out with the old...

2009-01-01T13:35:00.000-06:00

I have a new appreciation for Gina's recent post here and can relate all too well.
Our washer and dryer were a gift from our Pastor a little over a year ago. He had bought a home that came with a set that he didn't need, and though they were circa 1975, they were in good working order, though energy guzzling. It wasn't until Abby came into our lives that I started using the machines regularly instead of going to the laundromat around the corner. (I really enjoy washing all my clothes at one time once every few weeks). But there is just something sketchy to me about washing my darling baby's clothes where other mommies and daddies wash who knows what (we do live in Chicago, remember!)

So it was New Year's Eve, and hopes were high. We were planning to attend our friend Nick Jr's party on the 3rd floor, and have a nice relaxing dinner with my husband's family on the 2nd floor. Around 5:30 I dragged myself down to the basement despite the winter chill to wash Abby's entire wardrobe and ALL her blankets (it was a full load.) I was just getting us all ready to head up to Nick's party when I ran down to the basement again to put the clothes from the washer to the dryer. The cycle had finished, but the machine was full of freezing cold water. I backed the dial up to spin again. A burnt rubber smell and smoke came out. It was spinning about as fast as an eighty year old whirling dervish.

And the worst part? The water wasn't draining. I tried to pull the clothes out and ring them as best I could, but it was so freezing!

So, rather than attend a New Year's Eve party, my loving husband and I attended the "Soap Box" around the corner. I've never seen the place so empty, which was a good thing because we were able to use 6 dryers at one time to speed up the whole process.

And Abby had a clean blanket and jammies to sleep her way into the New Year.

Poetry Journal Excerpts

2008-12-30T17:07:00.000-06:00

Winter white snow
blankets my home
The quiet of night
welcomes it in
The sky seems so bright
daytime in sight
As evening hours fade

I wait for my love to come to my door
And pour out his usual greeting
We bid our hellos
and warm by the fire of our meeting

We'll sit safely by
as winter winds blow
He'll hold my hand,
and my joy will show

All aglow, my heart shimmers in awe
As I long for the cool of springtime
the adventures of summer,
and the fragrance of fall

Its all in a name
or so they say
But I haven't a clue
What to call you
I know that your smile
will light up a room
I know you'll be more beautiful
Than your name will suggest
Oh that it symbolizes all that is true
All that is pure in this world,
That God might rejoice
In our final choice
And be glorified till He renames you

Most of all, that your father and I
might speak but one word and know...

A name that will grow as you grow
A name for the billboard in lights
for the prescription pad (that was for your dad)
for the letterhead
for the by-line of a book
one the separates you from everyone at your side
one that will bridge East and West
should you ever head home,
one you'll never reject nor despise
a name that sings through your eyes.

I pray for your name, sweet Abigail Kathleen,
that you'll come to see everything it means.

Before there was time
God saw you
Before there were skies
He knew you.

Like the stars, He made you
And gave you to me.

Now as the time draws near,
my heart has fear
For this tiny life, my gift of love
So treasured and fragile, brings peace like a dove

Oh that I might number my days
a life of praise
And that you may come to know
the Savior of your soul.

Tiny hands
Tiny feet
Enchanting eyes
Meet my gaze
All amazed
I watch every breath
Wishing I could also count the hairs on her head
But You know them well
And that's peace enough
For me

Motherhood

2008-12-30T15:01:00.000-06:00

Three days after Abby was born, we went to the pediatrician for her "well baby" check up. There was a sea of paperwork to complete, mainly surveys to detail her medical conditions. Some of the questions seemed absolutely insane, like "smoking/drinking habits" or "blurry vision" (don't all newborns have that??) but it was this task of filling out papers that finally made it all sink in...

"RELATIONSHIP TO PATIENT....MOTHER."

Woah, mother. ME! Somehow the Lord saw fit to entrust clumsy, immature, messy, lazy, ignorant, selfish, (and the list goes on) ME with a tiny little life.

Well, its been a little over three months since that day at the doc's office, and I thought I'd give a report.

I'm still clumsy. Two times now, I have accidently banged poor Abby's forehead on the wall behind my bed when I put her over my shoulder to burp her. I'm so thankful they weren't her soft spots (rather the part of the head soccer players hit the ball with- maybe I'm preparing her for a career in the sport). And I'm even more thankful that this is the only way my clumsiness has manifested itself.

I'm still immature. I have way more fun talking and singing and dancing around with Abby than I do hanging with grown-ups.

To my detriment I am still messy, though I always have clean bedding, towels, diapers, bottles, and clothes for my little girl, even if the rest of the house suffers.

The messiness is due to my laziness. This manifests itself most with my love for laying in my bed with Abby until early afternoon. We cuddle, read books, shake rattles, and sing under the comforter (we're even in the bed right now!!)

Ignorance is bliss until you have a newborn. For weeks, Abby had a rash until my husband pointed out that she might be allergic to her shampoo...She's never had a rash since. In my ignorance, I've left the house with less diapers than needed and was forced to pay too much for more at Walgreens. In my most recent act of ignorance, I forgot the play yard for Abby to sleep in during our trip East (I was halfway to Ohio when I realized why everything fit so well in the trunk.)

But the character flaw that is most reflected in motherhood is, hands down, my selfishness. I want to take a shower every day, and no matter how much Abby loves splashing around, out of selfishness, she only gets a bath every other day. I really love going to bed late and sleeping in, so, out of selfishness, my little girl is on a sleep pattern probably much different from other little girls her age...

And with the acts of selfishness come the rationalizations to hide any guilt. Babies don't get dirty quick, she doesn't need a bath every day. Daddy comes home so late, if she sleeps at 9pm, she'll never see him...it's not like she's going to school yet, who cares if she's up till 11??

Yet in my heart, I know that I must change my ways. Our pastor often teaches about building up new generations. He talks about throwing away the bad bricks that we've been given by our parents, and replacing them with the good bricks that will help establish healthier patterns. This isn't to say my parents did a bad job, I just don't want my bad habits to be handed down to my daughter.

So with the new year comes a new outlook on every day life. I'm so thankful for motherhood, and all its joys and challenges. I know that, in the end, I will become a better woman because of it.

Something on the horizon...

2008-06-20T12:23:00.001-05:00

My heart is stirring- there's something big on the horizon! I am about to make the transition from Chicago working woman to stay-at-home wife and mom. I'm excited, nervous, anxious, curious, and a gazillion other emotions all rolled in to one. I've been reading friends' blogs, learning how they do it. I can't think of a better place to be than home raising my child, and I am so thankful for a husband who sees this as priority. I'm also so happy that these last couple of months I'll be able to get my home in order before the baby arrives. That small back room that has become the catch-all/store-all will finally be set up as a functioning space. The kitchen pantry will no longer be a combination of tools, spices, flour, light fixtures, canned goods, and household cleaner...

Maintaining our property is a full-time job in itself, and I'm going to waddle around and do as much as I can during July and August. (You can bet my bedroom will come out spotless because that's the only room with A/C :-)

For this last week of work, it's the normal routine...but there's that glimmer off in the distance!

To the place I belong...

2008-05-20T15:51:00.001-05:00

Joseph and I are heading to WV this weekend, and I am so excited! This trip has been long overdue. We are planning to visit some of the places we frequented when we first started dating...Grandview, Little Beaver, and Long Point. More importantly we'll connect with our "family" there. I hope to take a bunch of pictures and really upload them this time!

http://www.newriverwv.com/Recreation_Hiking_Trails.php

Some of you may live in this great part of the country, while others have never been. I can't recommend a more beautiful place to escape for a few days! Ideally, go in autumn, unless you're due to have a baby around that time, in which case spring just might be the next best time :-)

A Bit of Earth...

2008-05-19T14:51:00.001-05:00

So, last Monday my courageous husband and I decided to take the day off and do something with our out-of-control front yard. We had just a small patch of grass, about 8 feet by 12 feet, and my vote was to get rid of the grass/weeds all together and just have a lot of plants/mulch. After a little consideration Joseph decided this was a good plan. I had heard from someone who actually knows a little about gardening (unlike myself) that you could buy a mat to roll out over existing weeds/grass that would prevent growth, but allow for you to mulch over it and plant flowers into. We were off to Home Depot around 11:00am to find this product...

We decided to talk to the lawn and garden man, and he said "well, if you really want to do this right, you need to dig out all the grass and weeds and just start fresh." For those of you who don't know Joseph, he's not one to cut corners. He'd rather do something right or not at all...so, within the hour, we were digging up that small patch of grass that soon felt like a football field.

I commend my husband for persevering, and even ripping out some deeply rooted overgrown shrubs with his bare hands...after about 4 hours we were done, and then it was back to the garden center for some plants/flowers. I had also determined that I only wanted to invest in perennials this year, rather than have something that is just going to die out as the next winter rolls in. Joseph agreed, and we picked out several beauties with a red/yellow theme. We also bought several bags of mulch, and some stepping stones because all the residents of the building cut through the front yard on a daily basis.

I can't wait to post a photo, right now the lillies and azaelas are in bloom and the rhododendron is starting to peek out. I'm so happy when I get home each day and see flowers and mulch instead of overgrown grass!

I'm also going to bless our neighbor with the electric lawnmower that came with the building, as we no longer have grass!

Just Wondering...

2008-05-02T12:36:00.001-05:00

I have a really nice digital camera. Joseph and I bought it a little over a year ago (the weekend we got engaged.) Problem is, I have over a hundred pictures stuck on my camera. I'm so bad about getting the photos off the memory card and onto my computer.

I'm just wondering if other people have photos on their digital camera dating back to last August? I know my sister is in my camp.

So some day, you'll get to see some cool guys playing guitar hero, a few shots of everyone miniature golfing, pictures from Jodi & Sera's visit a few weeks ago...yup, one of these days I'll get around to it.

So, I'm wondering if there's a good solution to my problem, and I did stumble on this in one of my favorite magazines Real Simple.

http://www.amazon.com/Eye-Fi-Card-Wireless-GB-Memory/dp/B000X27XDC

The only problem is I don't have wireless internet in my home, and I don't really want it either...for now I will succomb to hunting around for that USB cable, and hoping that computer technology catches up with digital cameras?

House Projects

2008-04-25T14:05:00.000-05:00

Some of you may not know that Joseph and I are proud owners of a 3-flat brick apartment building on Chicago's NW side. We purchased the building January 2007, and ever since, it's been an interesting time! I've recently been inspired by other Chicago homeowner's blogs, and I've decided to post more about what we've been doing "around the house". As I look towards being a stay-at-home wife/mom starting in JULY I've been thinking about the numerous household projects I'd like to tackle. Here's a list of what we've done so far (since owning the property).

*Sanded and refinished hardwood floors in all 3 apartments
*Gutted 3rd floor kitchen
*Drywalled 3rd floor, installed can lights
*Tiled 3rd floor kitchen and bath
*Put in free-standing IKEA countertops/cabinets
*Purchased new appliances for all 3 floors
*New sink & toilet for 3rd floor
*Painted 3rd floor
*Put in a new 3rd floor back deck
*Paved "paradise" (our not so nice back yard) and put up a parking lot.

It sure seems like that list should be longer. I regret that, over the winter, very little happened to beautify our building. With Spring's official arrival, I feel motivated!! Here are some goals for the summer:

*LANDSCAPING- especially in our front yard, we need a lot of help!
*Painting or replacing the back deck (it's pretty shabby)
*Installing a fence/driveway gate
*
*Gutting the basement to prepare to finish it next fall/winter
*Get a new front door awning (not a need, just a big want :-)
*Paint the exterior wood trim
*Set up the spare bedroom for a nursery
*Set up the small office to be more functional
*Do something about our 1st floor bathroom shower- it's got a window and wooden window sill that we can't keep from molding-- what to do, and why would anyone install a big window in a shower?!
*Install a few ceiling fans in our apartment (still convincing Joseph of the need)
*Get some wooden blinds for our living/dining rooms

I guess my deadline is the end of August unless God gives me a little girl who can sleep through anything!

2008-04-03T14:00:00.000-05:00

A better wife...

2008-04-01T16:25:00.000-05:00

So, I went to Ohio this weekend to visit my sis and bro-in-law with Joseph, and I realized what a horrible wife I've become in the "kitchen" department. Granted, Joseph eats every night, and he usually gets catered to on a tv-tray (spoiled, eh?) yet just the same, the food pretty much stinks. My sister, for those of you who don't know, has a culinary degree and puts me to shame. During holidays, I get to make the salad to give you an idea.

The thing is, I'm capable, just lazy. By the time I come home from work and feel nauseous about food anyway being 4 months pregnant, I'm content with a bowl of cereal and a glass of juice. I realized I'm doing a great disservice to my hard-working husband.

So, yesterday I planned meals for the whole week. We went grocery shopping for the ingredients. I wonder if other young wives my age go through this too, so here's my week's menu and let me know if you'd like recipes!

Monday- Burrito Bowls (chipotle style)
Tuesday- Dinner party at church (I brought brushetta appetizer)
Wednesday- Shrimp/Bean Risotto
Thursday- Indian Butter Chicken and Cucumber Raita
Friday- Spaghetti with italian sausage
Saturday- Chicken Toritilla Soup/Fruit Salad

So, here's to turning over a new leaf before I have another mouth to feed!!

Heavy Hearts

2008-02-22T11:18:00.000-06:00

For turning 28 today, I must confess my heart feels a little heavy. I don't think this is an ideal place to share all the details, but some life events have got me questioning everything. Is there a God who loves me? Does He really know the plans He has for me? Without His love, how can I love others? When my well runs dry, and I'm begging for Him to fill me, why do I feel empty inside?

Here I am, on the brink of my 28th year of life. You'd think I'd have more figured out by now, but I am flooded with uncertainties...

I'm going back to my one Constant again today. He's all I have to cling to....

One Constant...

2008-02-20T10:12:00.000-06:00

Chicago is hanging on to winter with full force. Every day as I leave the house, I glance at my favorite flip-flops as I zip up my fuzzy boots. I'm ready to trade my scarf, gloves and coat for a simple spring cardigan. I'm beginning to loathe winter in Chicago...

As I long for the change of seasons, a part of me is apprehensive about what spring, and then summer will bring. Just as many life changes have happened for Joseph and I over the last year, this next year promises to flip our world upside-down. Now, instead of planning for a wedding and honeymoon, I'm day-dreaming about the birth of our child!

The due date is September 7th. While this still seems far off, experience tells me time flies, and the day will be upon us before we know it. Time to paint the spare bedroom, get a handle on daily household chores and finally get organized! Can we get that laundry room set up in the basement? Will we have the time, energy, and resources for some much- needed landscaping this summer? Can I get my own life together enough to bring a small helpless child into our crazy hectic lives? (Yeah that's the big question...)

As these thoughts have been spinning through my head, I've been reflecting on my favorite portion of scripture. I'm challenged to not be so self-absorbed, and to reflect on an aching world that need to experience the light of our Savior. I'm already praying that our developing child would grow up in home where the love of Christ would reign and where His light would shine.

I know that in all these life-changes, one thing constant remains. This is what I cling to.

2008-02-20T09:39:00.000-06:00

For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. (2 Corinthians 4:6)